Etiquette Analysis: Forgetting
Undoubtedly, we have all forgotten the name of someone we have previously met. It can be embarrassing for both parties and Amy Vanderbilt, in her 1952 edition of Everyday Etiquette has a very distinct approach to this dilemma.
“If you are warmly greeted by someone whose name you can’t recall, say something harmless such as, ‘Nice to see you’ or ‘You’re looking well.’ Then while looking quite attentive, let the other person do the talking until he or she gives you a clue to his identity. Your own expression should always indicate that you remember him well and favorably.” - Amy Vanderbilt (1952), Everyday Etiquette, 38.
I vehemently disagree with this advice. Unless you are a superb actor, your conversation partner will know you are struggling to remember their name. My advice is to address the problem head on. A simple “I’m so sorry, I know we’ve met before but I can’t remember your name. I’m [insert your name here]” will suffice. Offer your own name up as a reintroduction of sorts and to spare them the embarrassment of having to ask the same of you. If you can remember where you met them, add that in too to reassure them that you know who they are but simply are bad at names. The sooner you address the issue, the quicker it goes away. This is not the time to fake it till you make it.