Etiquette Analysis: Personal Stationery

Have you ever received a note on someone’s personal stationery and their name has been crossed out? It’s something people do with the belief it makes their note a little more personal and a little less formal.  

“You may or may not - as you wish - draw a line through the engraved name if the message is signed informally with a Christian name.” - Amy Vanderbilt (1952), Amy Vanderbilt’s Everyday Etiquette, 162.

According to the etiquette experts, it isn’t necessary. It’s something I have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about and I have made the decision not to cross out my name. Why? Because I like my stationery, and I spent a long time picking out the font and color so why would I ruin it by crossing it out? My conclusion, though, is do what you want. 

On another note, my etiquette analysis posts are designed to present older, etiquette traditions while addressing their place in the world today. Some of the material I pull from vintage etiquette books are still relevant today while others are clearly not. The below quote is hardly relevant today because fewer and fewer people are purchasing personal stationery but regardless, I find it interesting!

“White, cream, all blues, grays and mauves are in best taste. Pink is on the fringe of admittance; green is still a tabu. Paper should be of small or medium size, single or double sheets, plain or with any colored border - even green or red if it be narrow - and stamped with either a monogram, initials, address or both in color to match the border. Ink may be in violet as well as any blue but not green.” Emily Post (1945), Etiquette, 497.

Quite frankly, do whatever you want when selecting your paper and ink colors, in any size and shape you fancy. If you’re buying personal stationery, I approve regardless of what it looks like! If you do invest in some personal stationery, send me a letter!